North Fort Meyers, FL (The Weekly Vice) - Stephen Van Alphen, a 46-year-old Florida man, was jailed Friday after he allegedly exposed himself to neighbors and offered deputies a gander at his self described "small penis."
According to the Lee County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched to Van Alphen's neighborhood Friday after several neighbors called to report that a man was exposing himself.
Deputies arrived to find Van Alphen walking around his neighborhood wearing nothing more than a poncho. His buttocks and genitals were fully exposed to neighbors, according to the arrest affidavit.
When deputies confronted Van Alphen, he offered to show them his penis. "It's too small for anyone to see it anyway," Van Alphen retorted.
Van Alphen's roommate told deputies that he had been drinking for three days prior to leaving the home to begin the exhibition. Van Alphen then walked back into his house to a waiting jug of vodka before he was arrested.
Investigators say Van Alphen caused an uproar in the neighborhood earlier this month when he exposed himself to a 6-year-old boy while pretending to be a Ninja. Van Alphen later told officers that he was trying to perform a cartwheel maneuver when his pants accidentally fell down.
Van Alphen was also arrested in February 2011 when police confiscated 14 pot plants, a gallon jug filled with dried pot, and an elaborate growing system from his home in Naples.
In that case he was arrested on multiple felony charges that involved the manufacture and possession of marijuana.
He later told local reporters that he planned to continue growing pot and aspired to be a "criminal mastermind without hurting anyone."
Van Alphen now faces charges of indecent exposure and resisting arrest. He was released after posting bond.
The Weekly Vice
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