May 10, 2011

Sheila Keatings Was "Loaded" In More Ways Than One

Sebastian, FL (The Weekly Vice) - Sheila Keatings, a 50-year-old Florida woman was arrested last Wednesday after she allegedly became intoxicated and ran her vehicle into a poll - twice!

Deputies didn't, however, have a hard time finding her - since she left a trail of hershey squirts that oozed from her shorts. If you plan on eating any time soon, you might want to skip the rest of this article.

According to Sabastian police, officers were dispatched after a man called 911 to report that a woman had struck a poll with her Ford Explorer across from his residence.

Investigators say the officer arrived on scene to find Keatings attempting to get into her vehicle while pulling up her underwear and shorts. The officer also observed a bowel movement secreting from Keatings underwear and small quantities of the substance on the ground leading from the rear of the vehicle to the driver's seat of her vehicle.

The officer then asked Keatings to perform a field sobriety test, which she reportedly failed. Keatings told the officer that she had consumed about eight "Bud Light" beverages earlier that day, according to the arrest report.

The officer found six empty beer cans inside the car that appeared to come from a 12 pack of beer that was still cold.

A breath test later confirmed that Keatings was intoxicated at more than twice the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle in Florida.

Keatings was booked into jail on charges of DUI and open container. Her bond was set at $1,000.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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