December 21, 2010

Raymond Hartley Couldn’t Man Up For Drug Screen - Uses Fake Penis To Avoid Small Penis Jokes

Easton, Pennsylvania (The Weekly Vice) - Raymond C. Hartley Jr., a 28-year-old Effort man was jailed after he allegedly used a "Whizzinator" to attempt to pass a drug test, claiming that he didn't want to be made fun of for his "small penis."

According to police, Hartley used a "Whizzinator" device while submitting to court ordered random drug test for his probation. A Whizzinator device stores a clean urine sample with heat packs which is then delivered through a fake penis.

Investigators say Hartley claimed that his urine was clean at the time of the test, but previous comments by probation staff about his below-average penis size prompted him to use the Whizzinator. He never informed authorities of the previous incidents.

Hartley stated that he served six years in the Army before a birth defect not mentioned when he joined caused him to be discharged. He claimed that he underwent open-heart surgery and became addicted to pain pills as a result. He blamed his addiction for his previous burglary convictions.

Hartley was booked into jail and sentenced to one to two years in state prison for violating probation. He was also ordered to pay a fine and court costs for using the Whizzinator.

Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice

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