November 07, 2010

Assclown’s Bank Robbery Ends In Failure As He Trips Over His Own Baggy Pants

Columbus, Ohio (The Weekly Vice) - An unidentified man's attempt to rob a Chase Bank located on the Southeast side of Columbus ended in failure when the suspect tripped over his own baggy pants as he fled the building.

According to Columbus Police, a scary gunman entered the bank around 1 p.m. Tuesday, ordering everyone to the floor. He then assaulted two employees - pulling one woman's hair and striking the other employee with the butt of his rifle.

But that's not the only butt employees saw.

Investigators say the robber was attempting to flee with a bag full of cash (and a well placed dye pack) when something impeded his exit. Video surveillance cameras captured the assclown above as he tripped over his own baggy pants.

Once outside the bank, a dye pack that had been placed inside the bag by a teller exploded, turning his loot into red cloud of FAIL. That's when the robber dropped the cash and fled the scene in a red jump suit.

Since police failed to notice a man running away from a bank with a rifle and a bright red jump suit on, they'd like your help in finding him.

Anyone who might recognize this robber's ass-end is urged to contact the Columbus Robbery Squad at 614-645-4665.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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