October 21, 2010

Nathan Vossler Would Like To Play A Game - Charged With Sexually Assaulting Toddler

Nathan Vossler's WTF? MySpace Profile

Athens, Alabama (The Weekly Vice) - Nathan Vossler, a 34-year-old Alabama man was jailed Thursday after he allegedly had sex with a toddler.

According to Athens Police, an investigation was launched Thursday afternoon after a three-year-old child's mother contacted police with concerns that her child had been sexually assaulted.

Investigators say the child was interviewed and given a physical exam to determine the validity of the woman's complaint. The result of that exam prompted detectives to track down and interview Vossler. An arrest was made immediately following.

A following excerpt from Vossler's MySpace profile grants a peek into Vossler's world. We're not quite sure what color the sky is in that world, but none the less, here it is.

"Me name is Marty Bellows Carble Fodder Nackleweed. I comes from a long line of Nackweeds often mistaken for Nacklewood, though kin to such folk. Me enjoys me pony, feeding me tummy, and wholoping bad guys. Me true love is the ocean though I have never seen it with me own eyes. I often sings about the ocean and hum out of tune any song that comes to mind. Me wishes to become as powerful as me great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy on me grandfathers adopted daughter aunt's side who was a seamstress, she took upon a husband who was coincedentally her step brother. Brendon was his name. He had a rather straight family tree so he's dumb as a box of hammers. Brendon was the last line of the Carble family. She got pregnant with him before he died and had a daughter who grew up to marry Teardox Nackleweed and had 48 children."

Vossler was booked into the Limestone County Jail on a charge of sexual abuse of a child under 12. Bond was set at $100,000.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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