September 13, 2010

Six-Year-Old Menace To Society Caught In School With Dangerous Weapon - A Broken Cap Gun

Oglesby, Illinois (The Weekly Vice) Ethan Scaman, a 6-year-old student at Lincoln Elementary school in Oglesby is in serious trouble - facing up to 2 years expulsion and a blemish on his school record that will follow him until graduation.

What sort of heinous crime did this vile trouble maker commit while teachers are raping 10 and 14-year-old students every single day?

On August 27, Ethan Scaman was found to be "in possession of a weapon" on the school playground.

Officials say the "weapon" was confiscated and Ethan was immediately marched into the school office. His parents were contacted and informed that Ethan was officially suspended and must be immediately removed "for safety reasons."

Back on planet earth, Ethan Scaman was really playing cap guns with another student on the playground. A clear plastic cap gun with a bright orange tip covering the barrel and matching orange handle. The kind that pops when you insert a red cap ring, except this particular gun was broken and unable to pop caps.

Nonetheless, school board members will meet on Sept. 20 to decide what further actions to take. According to district policy, students who are found to be in possession of weapons or weapon replicas are ordered to be "expelled for a period of at least one calendar year, but not more than two calender years. The violation will also become a part of Ethan's permanent school record with the district which means as long as Ethan stays in the district, the violation will follow him through to graduation.

The second boy who was involved in the incident has since moved the hell away from the Oglesby district, where surely a sex offending teacher is busy grooming his/her next tryst. His parents have yet to comment to the media about the incident (and who could blame them).

"This could have been handled through conversation," said Ethan's father, Josh Scaman. "Just tell him that he's not supposed to bring those to school. Even if it looked real, I might understand, but they kept bringing it up over and over that he could get expelled for this."

"I don't want them thinking they have to watch him until he graduates," said Ethan's mother, Amanda Milton. "He's only 6 years old - he doesn't need to be branded like he's a menace to society. We're dealing with a 6-year-old who looks like Opie Taylor, not a sixth-grader."

The Weekly Vice Opinion:

In the wake of the Columbine tragedy that occurred about 11 years ago, there's little doubt that good policy in regards to weapons on school grounds is mandatory in this day and age. We applaud teachers who are vigilant in keeping a watchful eye on what students bring to school. We support school administrations that boot a student out when students ignore the policy and bring weapons anyway.

But, damn.... let's have an ounce.... JUST ONE OUNCE.... of common sense, teachers.

We know you're busy in the courts, fighting for the right to carry on affairs with students with impunity. We know you're busy in the courts demanding that taxpayers buy your Viagra. But please take a break from that and re-evaluate how a school administration handles what is so obviously a toy.

And before too many of you get on a rant about how these parents should have performed a full body cavity search of their 6-year-old every morning before he climbed on the school bus - invite a few of us over to watch you each morning as you frisk your kids from head to toe.

That is all.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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