September 28, 2010

Natasha Gregory Dyed The Carpet Pink To Match The Drapes

Swindon-Wiltshire, England (The Weekly Vice) - When a pink colored cat turned up in a neighbor's garden, it wasn't long before a nationwide manhunt was launched for the evil troll responsible for what most Brits called a sick prank.

Only a few weeks ago, a national uproar ensued when video surveillance cameras captured images of a woman who carelessly dumped a cat into a trash bin and walked away. So when images of a pink cat splashed across UK newspapers, Brits everywhere fired up their torches and sharpened their pitch forks.

The cat, which appeared to be abandoned, even sparked an RSPCA investigation and dozens of angry barbs from animal rights activists who had already dusted off their guillotines.

Shock soon set in, however, when 22-year-old Natasha Gregory stepped forward to claim the cat, stating that she was proud of her actions and would do it again.

She reportedly claimed that the cat, named Oi! Kitty, was turned pink for just one reason. To match her pink hair.

"I've dyed my own hair pink and I adore wearing pink clothes," said Gregory who is a mother of two. "Turning Oi! Kitty pink just seemed like a good idea."

In attempt to diffuse the lynch mobs, Gregory hit the British news circuit this week, attempting to explain how she managed to turn little Oi! Kitty into a walking powder-puff.

"I read the instructions on the bottle of food coloring and there was nothing to say that it was harmful to humans or animals," said Gregory. "We eat the food the dye is used on, so I knew it wasn't toxic."

Gregory, who is now pleading her case to the RSPCA in an attempt to get Oi! Kitty back, pointed out that "People have made this massive cruelty thing out of just food coloring. People do it to dogs. You often see it with dogs on TV, so what's the difference with a cat?"

Animal experts, however, have warned that other animals might react harshly towards a pink cat because red is an alarm color in nature.

Oi! Indeed

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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