September 09, 2010

Laurence Saunders - Jailed After Entering Woman’s Home Naked, Only To Be Dragged To The Door By His Beard, Beaten With Tape Measure

Kansas City, Mo (The Weekly Vice) - Laurence Saunders, a 62-year-old Missouri man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly entered a woman's home naked - but was quickly shown the exit when she dragged him to the door by his beard and then beat him over the head with a tape measure.

According to Kansas City Police, a 64-year-old woman awoke just after midnight Tuesday to find Saunders standing over her naked. He then allegedly grabbed her arm, stating that he was "just being friendly."

The woman apparently wasn't in the mood for the "friendly" advance he had in mind.

Investigators say she grabbed Saunders by the beard and dragged him to the door. As she attempted to throw him out of the house, he allegedly grabbed the woman by the throat. That's when she picked up a tape measure and beat Saunders over the head repeatedly until he received the hint that she wasn't buying what he was selling.

The woman told police she then found a pair of Saunder's shorts in her living room, which she threw out to him as he sobbed on her deck.

The arrest affidavit noted that Saunders had entered the woman's home the day before without knocking, claiming that anyone could enter her home because the door was left open.

He was booked into the Jackson County Jail on charges of burglary, sexual misconduct and two counts of assault. His bond was set at $50,000.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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