September 30, 2010

Carol Schnuphase - Jailed After Convincing Son He Had Cancer In An Effort To Solicit Donations

Roseville, Michigan (The Weekly Vice) - Carol Lynn Schnuphase, a 47-year-old Michigan woman was charged Friday after she allegedly convinced her son he had leukemia, forced him to shave his hair and eyebrows and even drugged his food in an effort to solicit donations for a disease the boy never had.

According to Macomb County prosecutors, Schnuphase used her son to rake in at least $8,000 in charitable donations after she paraded her son around, claiming that he was near death in his battle against cancer.

Investigators say Schnuphase told the boy he had cancer, forced him to shave his head and eyebrows and drugged his applesauce in an attempt to make it appear he was under chemotherapy.

Schnuphase also posted on her Facebook account that the boy was near death - soliciting donations of any kind from anyone who would listen, police say. Schnuphase reportedly accepted $7,000 in donations that had been collected by a church.

Detectives interviewed members of Schnuphase' own family who said they genuinely thought the boy had cancer - never suspecting a thing until she told them that the boy had died.

"I was absolutely convinced of it until after he supposedly died, and she decided with no thought there's not going to be a funeral," said a family member who wished to remain anonymous.

Schnuphase was booked into jail on charges of child abuse and taking money under false pretenses.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Starving Dog Found “Thrown Away Like Yesterday’s Trash” Inside Trash Dumpster

Washington D.C. (The Weekly Vice) - An emaciated dog was discovered in a trash dumpster Monday, locked inside a wire cage that was covered with a feces, urine, a sheet and bags of trash.

According to the Washington Humane Society, an employee working at the Douglas Knoll apartment complex in southeast D.C. was preparing the dumpster for trash pickup when she and a maintenance worker heard an animal whimpering from inside the dumpster.

The maintenance worker reportedly climbed into the dumpster and found a wire cage that contained a half-starved dog who's owner had obviously left him to die.

The dog, who has now been named "Thomas" was found with urine soaked fur - weighing just 10 pounds (half of what his weight should be). The poodle- Schnauzer mix was locked inside a cage filled with urine and feces - indicating that he had likely been trapped inside the cage for an extended period of time.

Thomas was taken to the Humane Society shelter, where he received medical treatment and much needed grooming.

"This innocent animal did not deserve to be thrown away like yesterday's trash," said WHS VP Scott Giacoppo. "This is a despicable act of animal cruelty and the person responsible needs to be brought to justice."

Washington Humane Society officials are asking anyone who has information about the case to contact the Humane Law Enforcement Department at 202-BE-HUMANE (202-234-8626.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Rajini Narayan To Jury: “I Burned His Penis Because I Wanted To Keep Him”

Adelaide, Australia (The Weekly Vice) - Rajini Narayan, a 46-year-old Australia woman is on trial now for murder - insisting to a South Australian Supreme Court jury that she set her husband's penis on fire because "she loved him."

According to prosecutors, Narayan was confronted with the reality that her husband was having an affair when she suddenly snapped, dousing him with petrol and lighting him on fire.

According to Narayan's defense attorney, Narayan discovered her husband's affair while reading through emails her husband had sent to his alleged mistress.

Narayan's husband was laying in bed when she warned him "You say you loved her. I'm going to burn your penis. I'm going to tell your family what you have done," according to Narayan's attorney, Lindy Powell.

"He rolled away from her, turning his back on her, and said 'No you won't, you fat, dumb bitch,'" said Powell to the jury. "In that split second, in that highly emotional state, Narayan threw the petrol on her husband."

Investigators say the ball of flames that erupted from the petrol succeeded in burning more than 75% of his body. He was rushed to Royal Adelaide Hospital, where he died a few days later.

While Narayan claims she only intended to set her husband's wandering willow on fire, the flames eventually spread through their townhouse, damaging most of the building.

Detectives interviewed a neighbor who told them Narayan stated that she wanted to burn her husband's penis. In Narayan's hand bag investigators also found printed emails that detailed the affair he was having and a credit card that was addressed to the alleged mistress.

Narayan, however, told the court that she set her husband's penis ablaze believing that by doing so, she would be able to save her marriage.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Edeilson Nascimento Doesn't Really Want To Hear All About Your Caffeine Headache....Sheesh, Amateurs!

Sao Paolo, Brasil (The Weekly Vice) - Edeilson Nascimento, a 29-year-old Sao Paolo man, was the victim of a bar fight that allegedly left him with a 4-inch blade stuck in his head.... three years ago.

Authorities say Nascimento got into a bar fight three years ago but was attacked again while he was walking home.

The attackers allegedly stabbed a 4-inch knife into Nascimento's skull that couldn't be removed due to the possibility of brain damage.

After 3 years and severe headaches, authorities say Nascimento was ready to take that risk. He returned to the hospital for surgery to have the blade removed.

Nascimento's three hour surgery went well and he is expected to be released from the hospital next week.

Lacy Black
The Weekly Vice

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September 29, 2010

Asshat Cross Dresser Wore Out The Credit Card While Wearing Out The Box Spring Mattress

Quadrick Williams MySpace

Memphis, Tennessee (The Weekly Vice) - Quadrick Jacoby Williams, a 23-year-old cross dresser and prostitute from Tennessee was jailed after he was found shacked up in a motel for months, compliments of a dude's credit card.

According to Olive Branch Police, a New Jersey man suddenly lost half of his hair when he opened up his credit card statement to discover someone had racked up over $11,000 in charges in his name.

Authorities followed the trail of wild spending to a motel, where they found Williams living a life of hosiery and purple highlights for over three months at the victim's expense.

Investigators are still not sure how Williams obtained the man's credit card information, however they didn't waste much time moving him to a jail cell where tax payers will continue to pick up his tab.

Williams was booked into the De Soto County Jail on charges of felony credit card fraud. He reportedly has prior arrests for prostitution in Memphis and Nashville.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Donald Denney - Jailed After Attempting To Smuggle Drugs Into Jail For Inmate Son, By Hiding Them In His Recturm

Florence, Colorado (The Weekly Vice) - Donald Curtis Denney, a 56-year-old Lakeside man was arrested Friday after he allegedly tried to smuggle drugs into jail by hiding them in his rectum.

According to FBI agents, Curtis planned to smuggle a golf ball sized chunk of black heroin into jail, which he planned to transfer to his inmate son by way of a mouth to mouth kiss.

Investigators say Curtis' son, know as the "hard hat bandit", was serving a 7-year prison sentence for a string of robberies in San Diego County back in September and October of 2008.

Authorities caught onto the pair's plans after recording phone conversations between them. The conversations, which began in July, included plans to sell the drugs for a profit to other inmates. The money would then be split evenly between father and son.

When Denney arrived at the prison for his planned visit, authorities performed a thorough body cavity search which yielded a chunk of heroin that had been wrapped in plastic and then placed inside the finger portion of a rubber glove.

Denney, who was already a convicted felon prior to the incident, was booked into jail on a charge of drug possession with intent to distribute. He is scheduled to appear back in Federal court next Monday.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Anitra Hankins - Jailed After Allegedly Tying Autistic Child’s Feet Together, Stabbing Him Repeatedly

Modesto, California (The Weekly Vice) - Anitra Hankins, a 36-year-old Modesto woman, was arrested Monday after she allegedly tied her autistic son's legs together and then began stabbing him repeatedly.

According to Modesto Police, Hankins called 911 to report that her 13-year-old son was injured.

When officer's arrived, they found Hankins' son on the floor of her apartment with his feet still tied together and multiple stab wounds that were bleeding profusely.

Investigators found Hankins in the apartment covered in blood and in an apparent state of shock. She reportedly did not cooperate with police or give an explanation for the violent attack.

Neighbors stated that Hankins previously took good care of the boy, bathing him, feeding him, dressing him and attending to his general needs.

The victim was rushed to a medical center in Modesto where officers say he underwent several hours of surgery. His condition has been upgraded to serious but stable condition.

Hankins was booked into the Stanislaus County Jail on charges of attempted homicide and torture. According to the jail roster, bail is set at $580,000.

Lacy Black
The Weekly Vice

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Medina And Tony Green Jailed After Child Discovers And Eats Pot-Laced Rice Krispie Treat

Tony Green MySpace
Medina Green MySpace

Boise, Idaho (The Weekly Vice) - Idaho couple Medina Green, 30, and Tony Green, 35, were arrested after a 4-year-old boy in their care was sent to the hospital after eating a pot-laced Rice Krispie Treat.

According to Boise Police, the couple had been caring for the boy in early August when the child discovered and then ate a Rice Krispie treat that had been laced with marijuana.

The boy reportedly found the treat in the couple's cupboard while Tony Green was away from the home and Medina Green was asleep.

The boy was taken to the hospital after exhibiting signs of slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and a sudden need to listen to old Metallica albums.

The Greens were booked into the Ada County Jail on one count each of felony injury to a child.

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September 28, 2010

Convenience Store Customers Flee To Save What’s Left Of Their Eye Sight As Naked Couple Has Sex In Front Of Store

George Pomfret Jail Booking
Brenda Prothero Jail Booking

Fort Meyers, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - George Pomfret Jr, 49, and Brenda Prothero, 48, were arrested Sunday after they allegedly decided that a full-out sex romp in front of a 'Good To Go' convenience store was just what the doctor ordered.

According to the Lee County Sheriff's Office, deputies were called when a couple became engaged in sexual intercourse underneath a tree next to the store.

Investigators say deputies arrived to find the fully nude man having sexual intercourse with a woman dressed in only a t-shirt out in full view of store patrons.

The couple reportedly moaned and grunted to each other "Don't stop.... Right there" as bewildered customers and a store manager struggled to wrap their heads around the spectacle before them.

"They have been on the property having sex for an hour," said store manager, Ramona Donato. "Several of my customers were buying stuff at the store with their children. They could see them having sex under the tree."

Donato told deputies that she tried to get the couple to stop, but they ignored her and kept going.

The couple was booked into the Lee County Jail on a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure where they remain incarcerated as of Wednesday morning.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Mother Sentenced To 20 Years In Prison For Starving Baby To Death, Free After Serving Just Seven Months

Houston, Texas (The Weekly Vice) - Jolene Valencia, a Texas woman who was sentenced to 20 years in prison for starving her 8-week-old infant to death, was released from prison after serving just seven months of her sentence.

According to prosecutors, Valencia was jailed in October of 2004, after she and the child's father arrived at a Houston hospital with the couple's emaciated, 8-week-old son.

Investigators say Valencia claimed that the child was having trouble eating, however medical records showed the child weighing almost a pound less than his birth weight of 5 pound 15 ounces.

When a nurse saw that the baby appeared to be deceased, hospital staff rushed to revive the child..... and in the midst of their efforts, the parents asked staff workers if they could leave while emergency workers attempted to restart the child's failing heart.

Baby Saul Castillo lost that battle, and was pronounced dead an hour later.

Valencia and her partner Adrien Castillo Sr. were arrested and booked into the Harris County Jail, however the couple posted bond after serving 30 months in jail and fled to Mexico with their two sons.

Valencia, who was convicted of bodily injury to a child by failing to obtain adequate medical care, was sentenced to 20 years in prison, but did not serve a day of that sentence until she decided to re-enter the United States.

She was re-arrested in 2009 following a traffic stop in Houston and returned to prison where she served just 7 months before the state parole board announced that she would be paroled in February.

"She had a limited criminal history and a satisfactory institutional adjustment," said Troy Fox of the Texas board of Pardons and Paroles.

Texas officials reportedly use a parole formula that adds any time served together with good behavior credits that are treated as real time. Valencia's previous 30 months were added together with 2 1/2 years of "good time" credits to boost her to the five year minimum to qualify for parole.

37 total months in jail magically becomes 5 years - and the remaining 15 years will be spent on parole.

The judge in the case, who terminated Valencia's parental rights, would not comment on the early release, stating that the decree he signed terminating her parental rights should speak for itself.

Valencia's two boys and a third child she conceived while in Mexico all remain in protective custody.

The child's father, who faces charges of neglect, remains at large.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Natasha Gregory Dyed The Carpet Pink To Match The Drapes

Swindon-Wiltshire, England (The Weekly Vice) - When a pink colored cat turned up in a neighbor's garden, it wasn't long before a nationwide manhunt was launched for the evil troll responsible for what most Brits called a sick prank.

Only a few weeks ago, a national uproar ensued when video surveillance cameras captured images of a woman who carelessly dumped a cat into a trash bin and walked away. So when images of a pink cat splashed across UK newspapers, Brits everywhere fired up their torches and sharpened their pitch forks.

The cat, which appeared to be abandoned, even sparked an RSPCA investigation and dozens of angry barbs from animal rights activists who had already dusted off their guillotines.

Shock soon set in, however, when 22-year-old Natasha Gregory stepped forward to claim the cat, stating that she was proud of her actions and would do it again.

She reportedly claimed that the cat, named Oi! Kitty, was turned pink for just one reason. To match her pink hair.

"I've dyed my own hair pink and I adore wearing pink clothes," said Gregory who is a mother of two. "Turning Oi! Kitty pink just seemed like a good idea."

In attempt to diffuse the lynch mobs, Gregory hit the British news circuit this week, attempting to explain how she managed to turn little Oi! Kitty into a walking powder-puff.

"I read the instructions on the bottle of food coloring and there was nothing to say that it was harmful to humans or animals," said Gregory. "We eat the food the dye is used on, so I knew it wasn't toxic."

Gregory, who is now pleading her case to the RSPCA in an attempt to get Oi! Kitty back, pointed out that "People have made this massive cruelty thing out of just food coloring. People do it to dogs. You often see it with dogs on TV, so what's the difference with a cat?"

Animal experts, however, have warned that other animals might react harshly towards a pink cat because red is an alarm color in nature.

Oi! Indeed

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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September 27, 2010

Florida Man Decapitated After Being Pulled Head First Into Wood Chipper

Miguel Vargas, photographed above wearing a grey shirt in Sept. 2008

Tampa, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Miguel Vargas, a 44-year-old Tampa area tree trimmer is now dead after he was beheaded by a wood chipper while attempted to grind tree branches at a Tampa area golf course.

According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, Miguel was working with a five-man team hired to trim trees at a local golf course when the fatal accident occurred.

Detectives say Vargas was feeding bundles of tree branches into a wood chipper when he somehow became entangled in rope that was drawn into the machine's blade assembly. Before anyone could react, the force of the machine pulled Vargas head first into the chipper's blades.

The tree service company's owner, Dwayne Wilson stated that the incident happened so quickly, he was unable to shut the machine down in time.

"It was too late. I mean, when I heard the rope go through, I heard a piece of metal and ran back to shut the machine down," said Wilson. "and when I did, I looked and saw him on the ground."

Vargas, who worked for Wilson's tree service for 7 years, was pronounced dead at the scene.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Granny Charged With Having Sex With Grandson Claims She Masturbated The Boy To Rid Him Of Sex Demons

Durham, North Carolina (The Weekly Vice) - Toni Stowers-Moore, a 53-year-old North Carolina woman who is accused of having sex with her 15-year-old grandson rejected a plea arrangement this week - telling the court she had sex with the boy to rid him of sex demons.

According to the Durham County District Attorney, Stowers-Moore, a former middle school teacher's assistant, had sex with and masturbated her then 15-year-old grandson in an attempt to "exorcise" his demons.

Stowers-Moore allegedly admitted in recorded phone calls to her family that she was doing her "religious duty" by committing the acts to save innocent people from his potential advances.

Stowers-Moore, who faces up to 12 years in prison for statutory rape was offered a plea deal that would allow her to plead guilty to a lower charge with a short jail sentence that would be suspended in favor of probation, counseling and registering as a sex offender.

She has rejected that plea agreement and just recently changed her story - now claiming that she was raped by the boy.

Prosecutors have asked the judge to delay the trial because the victim, who has a warrant for his arrest, is avoiding law enforcement..

Lacy Black
The Weekly Vice

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Wherever You Go In Life, Whatever You Do....... Don’t Be A David Winkleman

Davenport, Iowa (The Weekly Vice) - David Winkleman, a 48-year-old Iowa man was arrested Thursday after he allegedly failed to appear in court on charges of driving a vehicle without the owner's consent.

But you and I both know why he's earned a place on TWV. It's as if the answer was plastered all over his forehead.... and well... in fact, it is.

Many Iowans are familiar with the story, but I'm sure they won't mind if we share it with you.

Winkleman and a friend reportedly became walking billboards for a now-defunct radio station back in 2000 after disk jockey, Ben Stone, joked on the radio that he would offer a $150,000 to a listener who was willing to have the station's logo permanently tattooed on his/her forehead.

Winkleman accepted the announcement as a legitimate offer, went to a tattoo parlor and promptly had his forehead inscribed with a tattoo that read "93 Rock, The Quad City Rocker."

When Winkleman and his buddy presented their achievement to radio station managers, they were informed that there would be no payout.

Winkleman filed suit against the station's parent company, Cumulus Broadcasting, however, the case was later dismissed when Winkleman's tattoo buddy failed to show up for a court ordered deposition and follow court instructions.

Gee, that's starting to sound a little like our current case, isn't it?

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Gregory Streater - Jailed After Burglarizing Former Mother-In-Law’s Home Wearing Women’s Clothing

Gregory Streater MySpace

Oklahoma City, OK (The Weekly Vice) - Gregory Streater, a 26-year-old Oklahoma City man was jailed Friday after his ex-mother-in-law woke up to find him standing over her wearing women's clothes and high heels.

According to Oklahoma City Police, ex-mother-in-law Charlotte Palmer awoke around 8 a.m. Friday to find a man hunched down beside her bed wearing a white lace top, black Capri pants, pantyhose, high heels and a stocking cap.

"I thought my son had come into my room to get his lunch money," Palmer said. "I really don't know why I didn't jump on (Streater) and start beating him up."

Investigators say Streater then stood up holding an article of clothing and walked out of the room. Palmer looked around her room to find women's clothing scattered on the floor.

When police arrived, Streater reportedly took off wearing the clothes and high heels. He was found by police hiding behind bushes two blocks away. Police cornered him as he attempted to hobble away in one high-heel shoe.

Palmer said she didn't recognize Streater at first, but later realized it was him that was in her home - most likely trying to steal her clothing.

"My first instincts when I talked to my daughter, I said, 'The only guy I know that dresses up in women's clothes is my ex-son-in-law. That's why he's my EX son-in-law,'" said Palmer.

Streater was booked into jail on a charge of burglary.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Kristal Taylor Spanked Her Way To Jail

The Taboo Goddess Website

, Minnesota (The Weekly Vice) - Kristal Ann Taylor, a 41-year-old self proclaimed sex dominatrix was jailed Friday after she allegedly woke up a quiet suburban neighborhood with a sex dungeon.

According to the Stillwater Police Department, Taylor's neighbors called authorities to report a high volume of traffic, mostly men, going in and out of her home, in a residential neighborhood near Stillwater Junior High School and Lakeview Hospital.

Detectives tracked down Taylor's advertisement on, which led them to her website, where she called herself the "Taboo Goddess" and supplied her cell phone number.

According to the website, "recommended donations" are $150 an hour or $225 for 90 minutes at the "Taboo Dungeon" in Stillwater, where "discretion is assured." .

Investigators obtained a search warrant and entered the home to find that the entire main level was set up as a sex dungeon, complete with six homemade pieces of bondage equipment, bondage furniture, restraint devices, and pornographic posters on the wall. Officers found wigs, boots, costumes, make-up and notes containing the sexual desires of various men in another bedroom.

Other goodies found in the home included latex gloves, handcuffs, sex toys, personal lubricant, adult diapers and the case for an electronic fly swatter.

Taylor was booked into the Washington County Jail. Police, city and county attorneys will meet on Wednesday to discuss possible charges.

Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice

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Adam Berndt Had Half A Mind To Split When Cops Showed Up

Portland, Oregon (The Weekly Vice) - Adam Berndt, a 23-year-old Portland man, was arrested after he allegedly fired a shot at cops, and cops fired a shot back that came hair-raisingly close putting Berndt out of his misery. The mugshot to the right, however, was the result.

According to the US Marshall's Office, a grand jury issued a secret indictment of Berndt so US Marshall's attempted to pick him up.

When officers arrived at Berndt's residence, Berndt allegedly opened the door and came out firing at officers.

Police say no officers were injured but they fired shots back at Berndt which struck his ear and grazed his head.

Berndt spent a month in critical condition at a local hospital before being taken to jail on his charges, investigators say.

Berndt was allegedly wanted in connection with the shooting of 29-year-old Steven McKnight and a parole violation..

Berndt plead not guilty before a Multnomah County judge, the day after his release from the hospital, to two counts of attempted aggravated murder and one count of felon in possession of a firearm.

Lacy Black
The Weekly Vice

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Denise And Margaret Gave The Neighborhood Thrills And Chills

Upper Darby, PA (The Weekly Vice) - Denise Merget, 58 and her neighbor Margaret Doughterty, 41, were arrested last week after they allegedly began two unique home businesses across the street from another that didn't quite jive with authorities.

According to Upper Darby Police, investigators searched Merget's home on Wednesday, finding 20 frozen dead cats that had been stored in a freezer.

Investigators say the majority of the cats were just babies that were wrapped in plastic bags and stored for an unknown purpose. Police were alerted when Merget pulled a gun on an ASPCA agent who arrived at her home to confiscate her 55 cats.

Meanwhile her neighbor from across the street, Margaret Dougherty, operated a sex brothel out of her suburban home.

Investigators were alerted to Dougherty's business after a neighbors discovered a flier in the neighborhood that offered "massages by beautiful women." Dougherty allegedly operated the brothel when her son was in school.

An employee working out of the home as a prostitute, Amy Prudish, was also arrested.

Merget was booked into jail on charges of aggravated assault with a firearm. She may also be charged with animal cruelty after autopsies on the kittens have been concluded.

Dougherty and her employee were arrested on prostitution charges.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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September 24, 2010

Ivette Godinez - Charged With Running Over Toddler, Fleeing The Scene As Child Lay Dying

Ivette Godinez Facebook
Ivette Godinez MySpace

Madera, California (The Weekly Vice) - Ivette Godinez, a 33-year-old Madera woman was jailed Wednesday night after she allegedly ran over a toddler while intoxicated, made a U-turn to see what she had hit, and then fled the scene as the child lay dying in a crosswalk she apparently didn't notice.

According to Madera police, 3-year-old Efrian Enrique Hernandez was using an intersection crosswalk with his family Tuesday when Godinez' Saturn SUV struck and killed the child.

Witnesses told police they saw Godinez' vehicle make a u-turn, slow down near the accident scene and then take off once she realized she had struck a child.

"She just looked like she was in shock that she hit a kid," said Erica Rodriguez, a witness at the crash scene. "but she still took off, she never stopped."

Godinez' defense attorney told a local radio station that the sun was in her eyes and that she didn't realize she had struck anyone until she saw news reports about the accident on television the next day.

Other sources say Godinez thought she had struck the median while driving through the crosswalk and only learned of the accident while reading the newspaper the next morning.

Investigators believe that she was intoxicated.

Godinez was booked into jail and charged with vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated and hit-and-run resulting in death. She is being held on $225,000 bond.

Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice

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Christen Rando Learned Why You Don’t Call Florida DCF For Help

Christen Rando Jail Booking

West Palm Beach, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Christen Alyse Rando, a 27-year-old Florida woman was jailed Wednesday after she reportedly called Florida social welfare officials with questions about how drug use might effect her baby - only to be arrested and thrown in jail for her concerns.

According to the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office, Rando contacted the Florida Department of Child and Family Services back in July when she was concerned that her addiction to Oxycodone might effect her breastfeeding 2-1/2 month old son.

Investigators say DCFS took the baby to Jupiter Hospital for testing and found trace amounts of cocaine and Oxycodone in the child's system. Rando told DCFS workers that she had used drugs while breastfeeding her baby.

Rando was booked into jail and charged with child neglect.

A representative of the Oakwood Center of the Palm Beaches Panda Program, a drug treatment center Belle Glade, stated that DCFS has closed it's case and the family is now living at the center.

According to court records, Rando has had previous misdemeanor convictions for drug possession and theft.

Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice

Editor's Opinion:

The Weekly Vice is well aware of the daily nonsense and overall insanity that Florida law enforcement has to deal with. But this time it's the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office and Florida DCF who seem to have lost their senses.

While we admit, Ms. Rando could have avoided the whole issue altogether if she had just used baby formula... it escapes us as to why Florida DCF and the PBCSO couldn't have counseled the woman with simple logic like that instead of turning the case into a criminal matter.

Florida is a bastion of social programs. Florida taxpayers fund it. Yet authorities in this case couldn't pull their heads out of their asses long enough to recognize the opportunity they had before them to help someone.

Florida DCF, we know about you and your clusterfuck system. It's a masterpiece of social fail that repeatedly makes headlines when your own employees end up in handcuffs for one reason or another.

You dropped the ball on this one, as only the Florida DCF can. Who will call you for help now? Why should they? You're pathetic.

Keep your spirits up Christen. No one is perfect, and it takes a lot of courage to make the call you made. Please let us know how you're doing.

Danny Vice

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September 23, 2010

Shane McClellen Endured A Four-Hour Beatdown That The Mass Media Would Rather Not Talk About

West Seattle, Washington (The Weekly Vice) - DNA evidence has finally identified two Seattle men who are responsible for the brutal beating of 16-year-old Shane McClellan. As the two men beat, burned and urinated on the teen, they claimed the attack was retribution for slavery.

According to King County Prosecutors, Ahmed Mohamed, 22, and Jonathan Baquiring, 21, delivered the teen a beatdown that went on for four-hours. During the attack, the two men reportedly told the teen "The white man has held us down long enough. This is for enslaving our people."

Investigators say the men whipped McClellan repeatedly with his own belt, stating "How does it feel?" They went on to kick and punch the teen, urinate on him, pour beer on him and stub out a cigarette on his neck - all the while reminding him of the purpose behind the attack.

Finally, the two men robbed McClellan and left him on the street with a concussion, asking "How do you like it white boy?"

Authorities soon apprehended the two men after finding them near the scene with bloody hands. McClellen then identified the two men in a police line up. But in a move that still has McClellan and his family baffled, investigators released the two men because they didn't have DNA evidence available to link the two suspects to the crime.

Now, nearly five months later, police have linked the two suspect's DNA to bodily fluids found at the scene and have officially charged the two assailants.

Baquiring has since been captured and booked into jail on charges of robbery and malicious harassment (a hate crime). His bail was set at $500,000. Mohamed, however, remains at large.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Charles Miller Was Going To Get That Penis Picture, No Matter Where He Had To Go To Get It

Rock Hill, North Carolina (The Weekly Vice) - Charles Ray Miller, a 47-year-old man who ironically lives on Naked Creek Road in Conover was ironically jailed after he was allegedly caught naked in a department store parking lot, taking photographs of his penis.

According to Rock Hill Police, officers were dispatched after receiving a tip from a passing bicycle rider who reportedly saw Miller in a Rock Hill Sears parking lot without any pants on.

Investigators arrived to find Miller naked from the waist down. When asked why he wasn't wearing any pants, he reportedly claimed that he was "trying to get a tan."

When officers searched the seat next to him, they found a cell phone that reportedly contained multiple pictures of his penis.

Miller was booked into jail and charged with indecent exposure. His bond was set at $20,000.

Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice

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Gary Thompson Raped And Beat The Kids While Jessica Thompson Waited For Her Beating

Marietta, South Carolina (The Weekly Vice) - Gary Thompson, a 41-year-old Marietta man, was charged Tuesday after he allegedly raped and beat four young girls for nearly two years.

According to the Greenville County Sheriff's Office, deputies arrested Thompson after an investigation revealed that he sexually abused two girls and beat the unclothed bodies of two more young girls with a hickory stick - all while Jessica Thompson stood by and did nothing.

Investigators say Thompson repeatedly raped the older girls, ages 9 and 10, while forcing them to watch pornographic movies and view pornographic images. The alleged abuse was ongoing from October 2007 to May 2009.

The younger two girls were allegedly beaten regularly - and in several instances were beaten without pants or panties with a hickory stick.

The children reportedly told investigators that they also saw Thompson choke and beat his wife in front of them.

Gary Thompson was booked into jail on three counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct with a minor under 11, four counts of unlawful neglect of a child and two counts of disseminating obscene material to a minor under 12. He is being held without bond.

Police say Thompson has a record including prior sexual misconduct charges in 1993 and 1998, just two or three years before the eldest victim was born.

Investigators also arrested his wife, 29-year-old Jessica Thompson, who “willingly allowed the children to be emotionally and physically abused by Thompson.”

Jessica Thompson was charged with 4 counts of unlawful neglect of a child. Her bond has been set at $40,000.

The children have all been placed with family members.

Lacy Black
The Weekly Vice

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Amanda Colmenero - Hospitalized After Hiding Meth In Vagina Goes Horribly Wrong

Amanda Colmenero MySpace

Coos Bay, Oregon (The Weekly Vice) - Amanda M. Colmenero, a 22-year-old Modesto, California woman was hospitalized Tuesday in critical condition after a container of meth ruptured inside of her vagina while she was being detained by police.

According to the Coos County Sheriff's Office, Colmenero and an accomplice, 28-year-old Matthew Weathers of Empire, California, were apprehended on drug-related charges.

Investigators say Colmenero was placed in a holding cell overnight before she could be moved to the general population. When officers entered her cell the next morning, they found her unconscious and not breathing.

Colmenero was rushed by ambulance to Bay Area Hospital. Doctors removed two containers of what was believed to be methamphetamine from her vagina. Medical staff say one of these containers ruptured inside her body, causing her medical emergency. She was upgraded to critical condition on Wednesday.

Detectives say Colmenero was subject to the standard booking procedures, including strip and body cavity searches. however, the drugs were too far inside her body for officers to locate them.

Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice

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Terry Shea - Jailed After Beating Boyfriend Following Four-Day Crack Binge

Terry Shea Jail Booking Report

San Carlos Park, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Terry Shea, a 43-year-old Florida woman was jailed Monday after she went on a four-day crack binge, returned home and then beat the "GTFO" out of her sleeping boyfriend.

According to the Lee County Sheriff's Office, Shea went on a four-day crack cocaine binge, and then returned Monday to find her 52-year-old boyfriend asleep in her bed.

And apparently that's all it took to evoke a complete melt-down.

Investigators say that's when Shea grabbed a bottle of liquor and commenced beating him with it. She then obtained a bottle of mace and gave him a few shots of "I said GTFO" with it.

As the man was attempting to figure out what had hit him, deputies say Shea grabbed a frying pan, returned to the room and began whacking him over the head with that too.

The boyfriend promptly retreated to the garage where he waited for deputies to arrive.

Shea was booked into the Lee County Jail on a charge of battery.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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