May 27, 2010

Assclown Teens Discover Yet Another Method To Get Plastered - Vodka Eyeballing

Las Vegas, Nevada (The Weekly Vice) - Bored with conventional means of guzzling down alcohol, teenagers have devised a whole new method of delivering booze to their bloodstreams. They call it" Vodka Eyeballing."

Vodka Eyeballing involves pouring vodka directly into the eye. The alcohol is absorbed directly into the eyeball and surrounding soft tissue where it is introduced to the bloodstream. Teenagers believe the method invokes a faster buzz, a belief that is disputed by researchers.

The trend is said to have originated from nightclub barmaids who performed the gimmick for extra tips.

Dr. Kent Wellish, a Las Vegas ophthalmologist, states that not only is more alcohol absorbed into the bloodstream through traditional drinking than with this new method, it could also cause long-term effects such as keratitis, conjunctivitis, diminished sight and even blindness.

He stated that unless you enjoy the feeling of soap in your eye for the remainder of your life, "vodka eyeballing" is not a good idea.

Nevertheless, the trend has swept through college campuses in Britain and seems to have made its way to the U.S..

A search of YouTube yields hundreds of "Vodka Eye Shots" videos with thousands of views.

That seems like a trend until you realize a search for "Beating Head Against Wall" fetches thousands of videos.

Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice

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