March 28, 2010

Austin Purifoy Is Looking For A New Girlfriend - His Last Relationship Stunk


Las Cruces, New Mexico (The Weekly Vice) - Austin Purifoy, an 18-year-old New Mexico man, was indicted Thursday after he allegedly defecated in a man's car, thinking it belonged to his girlfriend.

According to Las Cruces Police, officers were called when the owner of a Honda walked out to his car to discover Purifoy in the back seat pulling up his pants.

Upon seeing the car's rightful owner, Purifoy reportedly asked "This is your car? I thought this was Desiree's Car." Purifoy then allegedly fled the scene.

Investigators say the car's passenger side window had been shattered with a rock, the glove box had been ransacked and some change turned up missing.

In addition, police say, the glass door of a nearby business had been shattered by a cinder block. Footprints leading away from the business matched up with the distinctive tread pattern belonging to a pair of shoes Purifoy owned.

Officers apprehended Purifoy a short time later in a ditch. He told officers he was there because he didn't want his girlfriend, Desiree, to see him smoke.

Purifoy was booked into the Dona Ana County Detention Center on two counts of criminal property damage and one count of breaking and entering.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice
http://www.theweeklyvice.com

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8 comments:

mrbowtie said...

This guy was in lala land. What a $hithead lol.

ne.husker said...

Not only a liar, but a moran.

Su Do Nim said...

He was just staking out his territory. Desiree is probably completely charmed by how much he loves her, that he would take a crap in her car.

It's amazing how quickly evolution is devolving.

magnificentjay said...

a better strategy would have been to screw of his ex's friends or relatives...but thats just me

Eastside said...

Run Desiree, Run far away.

hrdcore said...

ah they finally caught the Phantom $hitter? Sorry guys. Just a reference to incidents while I was on active duty.....

Ida_Slapter said...

That little shit!

If he did that to my car he would be taking his next crap in a colostomy bag.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaa i went to middle school and highschool back in california with this guy. Hahaha its crazy how i stumbled upon this. He is actually a really cool guy. Every dog has his day tho lol

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