August 27, 2009

Man Beaten With Baseball Bat After Two Women With Sharpie Marker Brows Lure Him With Promise Of Sex


Merced, California (The Weekly Vice) – Crystal Baeza 24, and Sara Kellum, 29, have been arrested after promising a man sex before beating him with a baseball bat and crow bar in an apparent plot to rob him.

According to the Merced County Sheriff's Office, the victim met the two women at a car wash they were holding to raise money for Kellum’s boyfriend, who had been killed during a stabbing.

The women led the man to believe that they would perform sexual favors for him, at which point they got into the man’s vehicle and drove to a liquor store for a little pre-sex cheer.

After leaving the liquor store, the happy trio drove further until the man’s car blew a tire.

After Kellum called a friend back at the car wash to come pick them up, the good times took a painful turn.

When the girls' ride arrived, they pulled out a crow bar and baseball bat and proceeded to pummel the man with them before stealing his wallet. The women then climbed into their friend's vehicle and fled the scene.

Deputies identified Baeza as their first suspect and and took her into custody Aug 19. A search of her home revealed evidence linking her to the assault and robbery.

They also arrested her sister, 25-year-old Erica Aguilar, who was not involved in the robbery but allegedly used the man’s credit cards.

Kellum was arrested five days later at her residence.

Kellum was booked suspicion of armed robbery and conspiracy to commit a crime and is being held in lieu of $80,000 bail.

Baeza was booked on the arrest warrant for robbery and two outstanding felony warrants and is being held in lieu of $300,000 bail.

Aguilar was booked on suspicion of using stolen credit cards, and is being held in lieu of $50,000 bail.

The Weekly Vice Opinion

So these silly bitches hold a car wash to raise money for Kellum’s boyfriend, who was the victim of a violent crime…and then they turn around and commit a violent crime?

Please God, tell me none of these women have bred.

Rebecca Diamond
The Weekly Vice
www.theweeklyvice.com


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21 comments:

Ida_Slapter said...

NOTE TO SELF: When two women, whom I've never met, want to have sex with me be very suspicious when they bring a baseball bat and a crowbar on our date.

ZachB said...

The only thing I don't understand is how they can have a higher bail than some of the people i've seen on here who have beat their kids to a bloody pulp.

Bad Karma said...

Ida, I have another note for you...

If you meet a woman with a tattoo of Obama on her neck along with the words hope and change....

She might just be prepared to distribute your wealth around with a baseball bat.

Anonymous said...

the only way ida would ever meet a woman is if they had plans to beat him with a bat and crowbar.

Bad Karma said...

anonymous, <--- attempting to be humorous at Ida's expense?

Isn't that like a janitor who follows the parade with a broom thinking he's the star of the show?

magnificentjay said...

...bet dude thought this was the most luckiest day of his life...but if two chicks want to double team me, i would not pass up either...sharpie or not

Jupiter Gurl said...

I know there are some guys out there who will have sex with pretty much anything... but damn.

That's pretty much hitting rock bottom on the food chain, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Jupiter Girl is one of those girls that get laid by guys that have sex with ANYTHING.

Anonymous said...

Bad Karma is one of those guys that gets laid by guys that will have sex with anything

Danny Vice said...

anonymous is one of those guys who will have his comments banned if he doesn't say something contructive.

Rebecca said...

Anonymous - is it lonely down there in your mom's basement?

Don't worry - I'm sure your little friends on WoW can offer you consolation as you eat your Cheetohs and fap to Manga.

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, project much. lol

Ida_Slapter said...

Whoa! Sniped while I was away.

Thanks for covering my back Karma!

iwinc said...

They look scary.
What were they raising money for if boyfriend was dead?His funeral or support for victims of crime ironically?

Ida_Slapter said...

OMG that is a Obonzo tat on her neck. The lifeless zombie eyes should have told me that.

Obonzo mentality here. Take what ever someone else has no matter how violent you have to be.

iwinc said...

Ida Slapter-whats an Obonzo?

justmyopinion said...

I felt she had a very pretty complexion and face.

Once you get to the neck, she sort of ruined the rest of it. I'm not against tattoo's but to be a walking billboard? Not to mention placing hope beside a man that is the president for four years. No thanks. A t-shirt would have worked just fine. She will be left with that her whole life. Not a pleasant thought.

Just doesn't seem right to place another person's name on your body unless it's your own children.

But it's her freedom of choice which is ok. The tattooing did not harm anyone. She made her point very clear.

How can another person be allowed to put someone else's picture on their neck without their consent? I would want my picture off of her neck.

Then you have those out there that would like to help her remove it.

You hear that saying "Watch your back?". I would be "watching my front".

justmyopinion said...

Danny, I have a couple of questions for you. Did the man survive the assault and is he well today? Why wasn't the person in the pick up car charged because she was able to provide the weapons. (or was that Erica, in the picture above, who picked them up that day?)

iwinc said...

This is 3 women isn't it?
They all have a rather similar look,
maybe its the eyebrows...

camom1978 said...

Ok, personally I wouldn't let any of these 'ladies' in my vehicle, ever!! One of them would probably do damage 3 could quite possibly murder you for your pento!! If they were bleeding I'd, Stay in my locked car and call 911!! If you ever wanted to know what the 'boogie man' looks like, Well it's Something similar to this. These people think nothing about killing to for a dollar, or just to make them selves look powerful to their 'friends' (aka, associated gangs members). I feel sorry for the man that was stupid enough to agree to their proposal. By the look of these girls, he should have known they had something else entirely planned for him!! I guess in the future he'll stay away from chic's with drawn on eye brows, fucked up hair, and tat's of other men's names on their necks!!! He really is lucky to be alive!!

Here'sWhatISay said...

Who started this sharpie eyebrow thing?? Now the sharpie uni-brow??
Classic, tramp, trash.

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