March 31, 2009
Portsmouth, New Hampshire (The Weekly Vice) -- Susan Bell, a 42-year-old New Hampshire woman was arrested Thursday after streaking in a neighborhood park while collecting dog feces.
Bell, who resides on Manor Drive in Portsmouth, turned herself in to authorities after a month-long investigation led to a warrant for her arrest, according to Portsmouth Police Sgt. Darrin Sargent.
Police say the incident occurred late last month after a neighbor saw Bell picking up dog feces at a Manor Drive courtyard and noticed she was completely naked below the waist. Authorities did not disclose the condition of the witness' eyesight following the encounter.
Bell was booked into jail on a charge of indecent exposure. She was released without bail.
The Weekly Vice Opinion:
The real story isn't about nudity. It's not about scooping up the Hershey squirts of of a dog. The real crime here is combining two things that should NEVER be combined. The human mind was never designed to contemplate the rude awakening that vision entails. To jail with her.
The Weekly Vice
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