October 31, 2008
Land O' Lakes, Florida (The Weekly Vice) -- Caliente, the largest nudist resort in the U.S. offers it's guests every imaginable 'perk'. Members can relax, dine, drink, exercise and party - all while in the buff. But recently, the resort realized there was one thing it's visitors could not do in the nude - Vote.
Caliente is hoping to change that.
Resort management has begun an active campaign, asking the Pasco County supervisor of elections office to consider installing polling booths at the resort so it's members can vote naked get their vote on while naked.
The resort boasts hundreds of live-in residents and hundreds of employees - not to mention the immense number of visitors who congregate at the niche resort because of it's ability to handle large groups of couples, singles, swingers, clubbers and vacationers who take the clothing optional lifestyle seriously.
The Elections supervisor, Brian Corley, hasn't rejected the idea. He did state however that a decision on the matter wouldn't be reached until 2010 at the very earliest. Corley also warned that the establishment of a new polling precinct is usually approved based "on need and population." A polling precinct already exists approximately two miles away from the resort.
Corley then gave the resort a sparkle of hope by acknowledging that "there is no magic number of people" required to merit a new polling precinct. He added that the county commission is given the task of approving the addition and/or relocation of new polling precincts.
Feedback from the commission thus far hasn't been overwhelmingly positive. One commissioner has already suggested that nudists who wish to vote in the buff can always submit their vote by absentee ballot.
Resort spokeswoman, Angye Fox, argued the matter further by insisting "It's all about freedom. People take their civic duty seriously and in many cases [nudism/naturism] is a very serious part of their lifestyle."
The Weekly Vice Opinion:
Although the prospect sounds 'titillating', the whole idea is really quite asinine. Keep in mind, polling precincts are volunteer services in large part - manned by 80 year old great grandmothers who would likely likely swallow their dentures when figuring out where to stick that "I voted" sticker on those who complete their vote. Having the resort operate the whole process is absolutely out of the question.
Then there is the whole issue of catering to a nude resort, when the elections process is already in dire need of updating it's equipment.
Then there's the whole issue of disenfranchised military votes. It's hard to imagine Florida spending money catering to nudist, when the military absentee ballot voting process is still half-hazard at best.
In the meanwhile, the concept is great for having a little fun with. If seniors in Florida can't figure out which hole to punch, it's possible other seniors will have trouble figuring out which lever to pull.
But folks, this is Florida we're talking about - and that makes just about anything possible. You can be assured of one thing. This issue will pop up again in about two years.
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Posted by Danny Vice at 9:18:00 PM