January 31, 2008

Toby Taylor - Man Uses Shockingly Kinky Sex On Wife, Kills Her

Pennsylvania (The Weekly Vice) - 37-year-old Toby Taylor has been charged with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment. According to charges, he clipped an electrical cord up to his wife's nipples and plugged it into a power outlet during sex.

The woman died in what's being described as 'bizarre sex' in where the man used an electrical cord to stimulate his wife, but ended up shocking her. His wife, Kirsten Taylor, 29 was found by emergency responders at the Taylor's home and was taken to York Hospital where she was pronounced dead.

Taylor admitted to shocking his wife, however explained that he and his wife had tried this before. According to Taylor, his wife first went upstairs and undressed. She attached the clips, and then shocked herself. Taylor then explained that he picked up the electrical strip, plugged it into the outlet and shocked her several times. He added that he also had placed duct tape over her mouth. After the last shock, Kirsten "fell over on her face"

Taylor admitted to police that the couple had "been engaging in electric shock sex and other types of extreme bondage for about 2 years.".

Taylor is being held on $100,000 bond.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

This is a real shame. Seldom does a good girl come along who truly appreciates stimulation on this level. Do you suppose she fetched beers too? Next time your wife fusses at you over something, just remember. There is such a thing as TOO much of a good thing.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

Scott E. Ziegler - Sex Offender Found With Minor Girl Wearing Dog Collar

Waukesha (The Weekly Vice) -- Police obtained and executed a search warrant on the home of registered sex offender Scott E. Ziegler. What they found is both disturbing and incredible.

Scott E. Ziegler, a registered sex offender residing in Waukesha has been under the watchful eye of the police for some time. Based on probable cause, police executed a warrant to search Ziegler's home. They found a 14 year old girl under the covers in a locked room wearing a dog collar according to court documents filed Wednesday at the Waukesha County Courthouse.

This is the second such go-around that police have uncovered involving Ziegler and the 14 year old girl. On January 18th, police found Ziegler and the same girl (with dog collar attached) in a car after she had been reported missing. The new search warrant was approved by a Court Commissioner when the 14 year old minor was again reported as a runaway.

Despite Ziegler's status as a registered sex offender, he worked at a retail store called "Twisted" that is known to be popular among young people, according to police. Authorities began to monitor Ziegler's actions at that time, although the store closed down several months ago.

Ziegler has also been accused of harboring runaway girls in exchange for drugs and alcohol. It's also believed that Ziegler uses these instances to engage in sexual activities with the under-aged girls.

Ziegler is being held in the Waukesha County Jail on $100,000 bond. Charges are expected to be filed shortly.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

Alright, this story wins the January, 2008 wacky sex perv award, hands (pants) down. I'm not sure how a sex offender goes to work at a trendy teen hangout without quicker action from authorities, but perhaps timing is everything in this business. The town must seriously consider passing some additional leash law legislation soon.

It is also hard to avoid the question of how a dog collar continuously becomes a common theme with Ziegler's fetishes. For Pete's sake, think of the animals in Ziegler's home too. Victims come in all shapes and ....um...species in the Ziegler freak show.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 29, 2008

Keri Ann (Keriann) Brekne - Two States Throw The Book At This Naughty Lesbian Teacher

UPDATE: Keri Ann Brekne Found Guilty

In court, Keri Ann Brekne admitted she sexually assaulted a student. Her bond was revoked while she awaits sentencing on October 3rd. She has been ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation and will be required to register as a sex offender.

Previous Report

Lopatcong Township, NJ (The Weekly Vice) -- Keri Ann Brekne (also reported as Keriann Brekne), a seventh grade social studies teacher at Lopatcong Township Middle School in Phillipsburg New Jersey has been arrested and jailed on charges that she sexually assaulted a 14 year old girl.

The 28 year old teach has drawn sexual assault charges in two states. It is alleged that she sexually assaulted the girl at her own home in Bethlehem, Pa. and at the girl's home in Lopatcong Township in New Jersey.

Brekne is charged in New Jersey with 2nd-degree sexual assault, second 2nd-degree endangering the welfare of a minor, 3rd-degree aggravated criminal sexual contact and 4th-degree criminal sexual contact. Bail has been set at $150,000.

Brenke is also facing charges in Pennsylvania of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse and aggravated indecent assault and corruption of a minor. Bail was set in that state at $75,000.

An attorney for Ms. Brenke has filed motion requesting a reduction in bail.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

January 28, 2008

Ann Marie Linscott - Advertises On Craigslist For "Assassin" To Kill Her Lover's Wife.

Sacramento, Calif (The Weekly Vice) -- A 49 year old Michigan woman advertised on Craigslist, a free Internet posting board, seeking a hit-man to murder her lover's wife, say police who arrested her on Thursday.

According to court documents, Ann Marie Linscott posted the ad requesting someone for a "Freelance" job. The ad was placed in November and Linscott described the job requirement to three persons via email over a three week period, according to investigators.

Court documents allege that Linscott offered $5,000 for the hit. She would also provide information about the California woman she wanted dead, including her name, physical description, age and work address. Specific allegations also include Linscott asking inquirers to "eradicate a female living in Orovgille California".

Linscott described the job title as "Silent Assassin".

The woman who was the target of the alleged hit and her husband have not been identified, however sources say that the husband has admitted to meeting Linscott for sex on at least two occasions. Once in 2005, and then again in 2006. Apparently the two kept in contact by phone and email.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Loni Folks - Naughty Teacher And The Foreign Exchange Student

Petal, Mississippi (The Weekly Vice) -- Loni M. Folks, a fifth-grade teacher at W.L. Smith Elementary School of Petal Mississippi, has been arrested on allegations of sexual battery on a minor. She has been employed by the school district since 2006.

The alleged sexual battery occurred with a 16-year-old foreign exchange student who was living with Mrs. Folks and her husband. Folks is the third Pine Belt teacher or coach in two years to face charges of having sex with students, according to reports.

Folks has been booked and processed at the Forrest County Jail and was released upon posting a $30,000 bond. The 16-year-old boy has been removed from the Folks' home and she has been ordered to have no contact with the victim.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

It's very hard to look at Mrs. Folks and consider any 16-year-old boy a victim, however we really have a phenomenon here where teachers are almost tempting fate to see if they can follow the example of other naughty teachers and get away with it. It's really hard to explain the continuous march of several teachers who appear on the wire each week for sexual misconduct with a minor.

Still, I have to admit. If I were to be a victim of something, this would likely be the abuse I'd choose. The only mental scars I'd have from the experience would be feeling like I peaked at 16. I could live with that.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

January 27, 2008

Hilda Voskanian - Kills 75 Year Old But Gets Only 4 Months Home Detention

Glendale, Ca. (Weekly Vice) -- A 31 year old Burbank woman who pushed a parking lot attendant to his subsequent death was sentenced for manslaughter. The outrage is that she will never spend a day in jail over it.

A Burbank Superior Court Judge ordered Hilda Voskanian to 120 days of house arrest and ordered her to complete 2,000 hours of community service after she pushed a parking lot attendant who suffered a head injury and later died.

The other absolutely crazy part of this story is that the entire dispute occurred over a $5 parking fee that Voskanian refused to pay. Ms. Voskanian pushed Pedro Dorado of Hollywood, California who hit his head in the fall. He later checked himself into a local hospital, but slipped into a coma and died.

Attorneys for Voskanian had requested home detention for the woman because she is currently pregnant. The Judge complied, but tacked on substantial community service requirements to make up for the jail time.

Assistant District Atty. Ana Lopez said those [the pregnancy] are factors that should not have been considered and pushed for a tougher sentence than the home detention, which she felt would amount to nothing more than a watered-down version of the justice she sought.

“The fact that she’s currently pregnant does nothing to make her less dangerous. She’s married to a responsible man, who is fully capable of taking care of a 16-month-old child, and she will be given medical treatment every day to care for her pregnancy. She has to be punished for what she did. Home arrest would be meaningless,” said the Asst. District Attorney in the case.

Ms. Voskanian voiced her regret for her actions:

“I’m truly sorry for what happened to Mr. Dorado,” Ms. Voskanian said. “I feel terrible knowing that if [I] paid $5, he would still be alive. I have to live with this for the rest of my life.
If being in custody would bring Mr. Dorado back that would be one thing, but I believe I can do more in the community,” Voskanian added.

Voskanian was also ordered to pay more than $5,000 in court fines and about $8,500 to Dorado’s children to cover funeral and travel costs. She must also attend anger management classes and is on probation for 60 days.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Cynthia Rynard - Naughty Teacher Convicted But Avoids Jail

Martinsville, Ind. (The Weekly Vice) -- Cynthia M. Rynard, a 33 year old former English teacher at Martinsville High School, has been sentence after pleading guilty to one count of dissimulating matter harmful to a minor.

Rynard was originally charged with child seduction after it was alleged she had performed oral sex on one of her male students. Police said the arrest was a result of a four-week investigation into the alleged incident, which authorities said happened off school property.

Rynard admitted in court to performing a lewd act "in the presence" of a minor.

Although Rynard's attorney requested no jail time, Rynard was sentenced to 18 months in prison, however the Judge suspended all of the sentence except that portion which Rynard had already served. A total of 8 days.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

When judges sentence felons in these types of cases to jail time and then go out of their way to suspend all of that sentence, we wonder what the purpose is. It's been shown before that even when the teacher DOES offend again, rarely is the entire suspended sentence imposed.

The Vice does have a sympathetic ear to Romeo and Juliet type of cases where the perp is barely over 18. But in cases where the it's a teacher who's in their mid 30's, Judges really do a disservice by sidestepping the sentencing guidelines by suspending them. Even a couple of months in jail would have been better than nothing.

The naughty teacher simplex we have going in our schools is a runaway train. Every single week, the Weekly Vice is able to list one or two teachers who commit led acts on children. While that may be great for hot news, it's not so great news for future victims.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Sandra Borrego - Naughty Dance Teacher Indicted On Child Assault Charges

Corpus Christi, Tx (The Weekly Vice) -- Sandra Borrego, a 41 year old dance instructor who taught a dance class at the Most Precious Blood Catholic School in Corpus Christi has been indicted on 22 counts of aggravated assault on a child.

Prosecutors in the case said they have received DNA rest results which confirm the identity of the father. It is presumed from the indictment, the child was fathered by a 13 year old student of Ms. Borrego, although police have not identified the teen in compliance with regulations that protect the name of alleged minor victims of sexual assault. The child was 6 months old when court ordered DNA testing was performed.

According to the arrest warrant, the teenage boy told police that he and Borrego had sexual relations 20 to 30 times on the school premises and/or Borrego's home. The alleged offense was committed late 2006.

Although Borrego was not an employee of the school, she rented out space at the school to operate her dance studio and teach students there.

Ms. Borrego is currently free on 25,000 bond pending her next hearing.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 24, 2008

Looney Drug Deal - Suspects Sent Random Text Message To Cops Asking If They Wanted To Buy Lortab

Salt Lake City, UT (The Weekly Vice) -- Salt Lake City Police arrested two women after an officer received a random text message on his cell phone asking if he 'wanted to buy some Lortab.'

Police turned the message over to it's narcotics division which proceeded to correspond with the author of the message. An arrangement was made to meet with the suspect at a Wal-Mart located nearby and the individual gave police a description of her car to facilitate the transaction, according to police.

When the narcotics division arrived on the scene, they found two women and a 2 year old in a vehicle matching the description that was given to them from the author of the text message. Officers also found a bottle of Lortab inside the suspect's car.

The driver of the car, 27 year old Carrie Booker told police that her passenger, 42 year old Christine Rollins, had filled the prescription at Wal-Mart. She also advised the police that Rollins had warrants for her arrest.

The two women were immediately taken into custody and booked on distribution of a controlled substance. The 2 year old child, who was Rollins' daughter, was taken to the Christmas Box House, where she was cared for by protective services pending developments in the case.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 23, 2008

Rebecca Bogard - Teacher And Shrimp Bowl Queen Charged With Sexual Battery On Minor Student

Biloxi (The Weekly Vice) -- Rebecca Bogard, a 27 year old teacher at a Biloxi alternative school was charged and released on $50,000 bond for sexual battery of a teenage male student who attended the school.

Bogard teaches science at the Center for New Opportunities and previously taught at one of the districts elementary schools for approximately three years. She is a 1998 graduate of Biloxi High School, was a member of the student council and was crowned Shrimp Bowl queen in 1996.

Police investigated the case following a complaint filed by the boy's parents according to Capt. John Miller of the Biloxi Police Department. The sexual battery charge involves an alleged incident that did not occur on the school campus, police said.

Bogard has thus far been charged with one count of sexual battery on a child under the age of 16. This is a felony charge punishable by up to 30 years in prison. She was transported to the Harrison County Jail for processing and released later the same day.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Richard Bowen - Man Drugs Preteen Daughter, Then Abandons Her To Have Extra-Marital Affair

Scranton, PA (The Weekly Vice) -- Richard Bowen, a 31 year old Pennsylvania man accused of drugging his own daughter while he carried out extra-marital romps, accepts deal from prosecutors.

On Tuesday, Mr. Bowen admitted to abandoning his two young daughters at night while he visited his mistress. He did not initially admit to drugging his daughter with NyQuil until prosecutors revealed that they had obtained recorded phone conversations of Mr. Bowen confessing to the act from jail.

Authorities said that Bowen was supposed to watch his two preteen daughters while his wife worked a night-shift job. On several occasions between February and May, Bowen would administer heavy doses of NyQuil to his 9 year old daughter and then put both children to bed.
He would then leave the house to visit his Dickson City girlfriend.

Prosecutors say they were fully prepared to enter the recorded confessions into evidence in order to substantiate their charge that he dosed his children with cold medicine. The recordings included conversations Mr. Bowen had with both his family and his mistress.

Paul Walker, an attorney for Mr. Bowen said that the recording calls influenced his client's decision to plead guilty.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

What's truly sad about this whole arrangement is that instead of paying child support, this man will sit in jail and cost tax payers money - while a single mom supports these kids on her own. It's just another example of a lot of grief caused by one man's stupidity.

And to think.... the man is STILL talking to the mistress from the jail? Incredible.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

Woman Searches For Unknown Father - Discovers It Was Her Boss!

Taipei County, Taiwan - (The Weekly Vice) -- A 40 year old Vietnamese woman on a mission to find her unknown father finally finds him. It's her boss!

Tran Thi Kham grew up not knowing her father. Tran's mother met her father in Hong Kong and formed a relationship with him. The relationship was cut short however when Tran's mother was required to return home for family reasons. It was during this time that Tran's mother learned that she was pregnant, however this news was never shared with Tran's father who resided in Taiwan.

Tran's mother passed away just two months after giving birth, providing Tran very few clues as to the identity of her father. She did however leave behind an engraved gold ring and a photo of her father.

In 2005 Tran travelled to Taiwan in her quest to find her long lost father. She was hired by an agency which assigned Tran to a job caring for Mr. Tsai Han Chao's paralyzed wife. When his wife died 7 months later, Tran was reassigned to another family in Kinmen.

Tran travelled to Kinmen, accidentally leaving behind a bag containing the items her mother had left her which once belonged to Tran's unknown father. Tsai, discovered the bag and instantly recognized the items inside. It was the gold ring and photograph he had given his girlfriend decades earlier!

Tsai immediately located Tran and flew to Kinman to share the good news. The two were at long last reunited. DNA testing confirmed the Tsai's identity as Tran's biological father.

"This is incredible and really touching to see the father and daughter get together after all these years," said authorities who became aware of the reunion.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 22, 2008

Yu Zhenhuan - World's Hairiest Man Nixes Old Flame. Ready To Date Again

China (The Weekly Vice) -- The World's Hairiest Man is back on the market and looking for love!

Yu Zhenhuan, the 2002 record holder as the "world's hairiest man" according to the Guiness Book Of World Records, has recently broken up with his girlfriend. Wasting no time, Yu re-entered the dating scene by joining an online dating agency.

Another member of Yu's dating agency saw his picture profile and called the media to report him. "I was amazed to see his picture there, since I'd been hearing he was going to get married soon. So I called the media," said the member who wished to remain anonymous.

Yu confirmed questions of his prior relationship's demise. "We got to know each other through the Internet and had been seeing each other for three years. Unfortunately our relationship has come to an end," he explained. "My whole body is covered with hair, and my parents are worried I won't be able to find a wife. May girls are shocked when they see me in person," he added.

Although 96% of Yu's body is covered with dense hair, he does not hide his unique appearance. In addition to online dating, he also displays photos of himself on his website, http://www.maohai.com/.

In a 2004 interview, Yu expressed some of the hardships of growing up in China with this kind of physical characteristic. "People laughed at me and called me 'caveman'. I used to throw stones back and fight them as a kid, but now I've grown up and learnt how to endure it," he said as he recuperated in a hospital ward from ear surgery.

It was during this interview that Yu also expressed interest in pursuing a career as a professional singer. "I hope to prove myself and others wrong in singing some day. Of course, in the beginning, people will say, that's just 'hairboy' singing," Yu Said. "But I want to rely on my skills to make it big," he added.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Virginia Delegate Lionel Spruill Vows To Ban Your Testicles

Richmond, Va (The Weekly Vice) -- Your testicles may soon be outlawed in Virginia. Of course we're not referring to human anatomy here, but pretty close to it.

Those little replica testicles that some truck owners attach to the trailer hitch of their truck has drawn the attention of a lawmaker in Virginia who are seeking to have the practice banned.

Delegate Lionel Spruill introduced a bill on January 9th, which called for a ban against displaying replicas of male genitalia on vehicles. The bill identified the practice as a safety issue because of it's potential to distract other drivers. If the measure passes, offenders could be cited with a misdemeanor charge that would be punishable with a maximum fine of $250.

The idea for the ban came from a citizen who's young daughter had spotted a similar display on the back of a vehicle and asked her father to explain what they were. The citizen then brought the issue to Spruill who promised to address the issue.

Spruill, who was widely chastised when he attempted to outlaw baggy pants in 2005, vowed he would not be deterred from pursuing his proposed legislation vigorously. He announced his intentions to bring a sample of the replica testicles before the state legislature to argue his case.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

Apparently Virginia lawmakers have so successfully managed the legislature, that spending state tax dollars to pursue baggy pants and toy testicles have become a major priority of the state.

Spruill filed this bill while acknowledging it may make him a "laughing stock", so he obviously understands how silly it looks - however he's on a mission to ban the 'unsightly' and as long as Virginia wants to entertain his indulgence for 'all things salacious' then more power to them.

Since this bill seeks to specifically ban truck ornaments in general, instead of specifying the sexual nature of this particular ornament, we believe it will be thrown out. But if it isn't, be forewarned. Virginia wont tolerate your testicles on it's public roadways for much longer.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 21, 2008

North Dakota Supreme Court Grants Police Authority To Stop Any Vehicle With Out Of State Temporary Tag

North Dakota (The Weekly Vice) -- If you buy a new car with a legally valid temporary tag and then drive into North Dakota, the state police can stop you at will.

Even if the vehicle driven is entirely legal and the temporary tag is properly displayed, any officer can stop any vehicle simply for displaying an out-of-state tag. This was the finding made be the North Dakota Supreme Court which upheld it's previous ruling on Thursday.

The highest court in the state came to this decision by finding that the Grand Forks Police Department was legally authorized to stop motorist Clinton Mitchell which subsequently lead to his arrest for DUI.

The central purpose of the stop was because Mitchell's vehicle displayed a Montana temporary tag in the rear window which the officer could not identify as an authentic tag.

Mitchell's attorneys argued that simply not recognizing a tag doesn't authorize police to assume a law has been broken or that the tag is invalid. The North Dakota Supreme Court disagreed sharply with a 4 to 1 split ruling in favor of the Grand Fork's Police Department.

Since the GFPD or the State Highway Patrol does not require officers to memorize the temporary tags of every state, any vehicle that has a temporary tag from out of state becomes a moving target. So long as an officer claims he wasn't able to authenticate your tag, your vehicle is therefor considered 'suspicious'.

Excerpts from the Court's Opinion state:

"We hold that this 8 1/2" x 11" sheet of paper in the rear window of Mitchell's vehicle, which was without license plates, provided reasonable and articulable suspicion that Mitchell was not complying with motor vehicle registration laws," Stated Justice Mary Muehlen.

"The law does not establish that the appellant was entitled to operate his vehicle in North Dakota with a valid Montana temporary registration certificate," added Sandstrom.

Here is the original case and ruling from Nov. 28, 2006 which has now been upheld

State of North Dakota vs. Kenneth Wayne Oliver

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

To say this case sets a dangerous precedent is an understatement. Cases in the future will use this case as a catapult which may allow police to assume you are guilty, even if you are completely compliant with the law.

What if we apply this court's ruling to another case in the future where 'possible guilt' is grounds for a stop from the police?

Let's say a large breasted woman walks out of a local mini-mart, and an officer nearby cannot verify that her breasts aren't really just two butterball turkeys stuffed in her shirt? Will police be able to stop and search the woman because she appears to 'possibly' be breaking the law?

This is a silly illustration, but it is vetted on the same principal that the court has upheld. If an officer cannot be certain you aren't guilty, you may be stopped, questioned, taken into custody and searched. Prosecutors all over the state have a new weapon in their legal arsenal now!

Absolutely ridiculous! Many members of this life-term court are quite young which means a long long future of this kind of police state rational.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Jean Merola - Arrested In McDonalds Drive Thru While Waiting For Fries

Clearwater, Fla (The Weekly Vice) -- A Clearwater Florida police officer arrested, booked and jailed a 75 year old grandmother after she failed to move her car forward in a McDonald's drive thru.

Jean Merola, a grandmother of eight had placed an order (unsalted fries) that required a few additional minutes to prepare. Merola said that the employees of the restaurant instructed her to wait.

After a a few moments, an officer pulled up behind her and started honking his horn, she said. He was also waving his arms, apparently signaling for her to move her car, she said.

When the granny failed to reply, the officer Matthew Parco, approached Merola's Lincoln Towncar and asked for her license and registration. Words were exchanged which prompted the officer to call for backup and proceed with the arrest.

The grandmother was searched, handcuffed behind her back and taken directly to Pinellas County Jail where she was charged and booked for "Disorderly Conduct". She was processed and then released about 90 minutes later.

The arrest affidavit states that Merola's car was 'partially blocking' the drive-through lanes. It also stated that the officer asked Mrs Merola three times to move her car forward a foot to allow cars behind her to pass. After refusing, Merola yelled at Parco for about 20 minutes, calling him a "brat,'' and other various rebukes.

The grandmother admits to arguing with the officer, but claims that she could not move her car forward because there was a curb in front of her car. "I got upset because he honked his horn at me,'' Merola explained. "You know, it's only normal for you to get upset when somebody honks a horn at you when you're not doing anything.''

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

In this round, I call it a draw. The grandmother admits to arguing with the officer for some time. If she felt she couldn't pull her car forward, she could have gotten out of the car to see exactly where the officer did want her to move the car to.

On the other hand, it's pretty apparent that the officer created the entire issue to begin with. I think he overstepped his bounds for a number of reasons. First, he was apparently a customer on private property. If the restaurant had ordered the lady to stay put, the officer would have accomplished more by taking the matter to the store manager.

There are no laws that I'm aware of which instruct citizens where to wait for their fries. The woman may be guilty of rudeness or perhaps aloofness, however she isn't violating a traffic law by staying put where the restaurant requested that she stay.

The officer was inpatient and therefor aggravated the situation, forcing a citizen to either cow-tow to his impatience or stand their ground and endure the consequences.

There have been several incidences of wacky officer entanglements that have come out of Florida in the past few months. We are fairly certain that this matter will be dropped, as Florida police departments have been fairly responsive to stories like this who hit the news.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 20, 2008

Road Kill Toys 'Hit' The Market

London, UK (The Weekly Vice) -- Yes, it's okay to take a second look. No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. We know we have your attention for a moment and Adam Arber wouldn't have it any other way.

Squash-Plush, the brain child of Adam Arber, Mike Velcro and Charlie Bradshaw, is the newest wave of 'strange but true' toy concepts to hit the market - and yes, their guts spill out when the hit comes.

The first toy to be produced is 'Twitch', the Roadkill Raccoon. It's bulging eye is the first clue that all is not well with this snuggable fluff. Simply unzip it's underside and the racoon's innards spill out. The toy also comes complete with a body bag and toe tag identifying what led to the coon's demise.

According to the group, additional Squash-Plush lovables will follow. Grind the rabbit, Splodge the hedgehog, Fender the fox and Pop the weasel. The toys initially debut at Play Lounge of London but it is also available on the Road Kill website.

The company which originally first set up shop in a musky West London basement is a part time endeavor for Adam Arbor who currently works in advertising. Will Road Kill toys be the next 'Garbage Pale Kids' of the new century? We're not sure, but we can assure you that you'll be seeing more Road Kill soon!

There is only one way to beat the Road Kill mania, and that is to be the first in the office to get one. Just don't expect your co-workers to sift through your trash can any time soon.

January 19, 2008

The Weekly Vice Forecasts The Major Candidate Nominees - Moderates Win The Day!

Jan 19, 2008 (The Weekly Vice) -- The alarm clock is ringing.... The Weekly Vice has pledged to predict who the Democrat and Republican Nominees will be and we're not going to wait until month's end to go ahead and nail our own coffin.

Before you laugh, consider this. This is a serious forecast and one I'll shamelessly boast about when I am proven right. If I end up being wrong, I expect a public flogging in the comment section of this post, and I'll deserve it. But let's have some fun with this in the meanwhile.

My choices don't reflect who I like best. They represent who I think will become the two major party nominees and why.

Why John McCain Will Be Your Republican Nominee:

Whether Republicans like it or not, the country has moved back to center if not slightly left of center. Those who voted Democrat in one of the last 3 elections are likely to vote Democrat this time unless the Republican candidate is outspokenly politically centered.

The mean spirited, venom filled political rancor that has existed over the last 8 years has worn thin the nerves of most voters (including the Republican voter), who will not send a candidate to Washington who paints a target on their own back.

John McCain does not satisfy all Republicans because of his weak stance on immigration reform and the McCain-Feingold blunder. He is however the most acceptable candidate to the independent voter now that Giuliani has dropped out of real contention.

Huckabee has done well, but his views are too liberal for some conservatives. His platform has been marinated in semi-extreme soundbites that will prove to be too divisive for Republican moderates who have grown weary of the religious attacks that George Bush has been repeatedly harpooned with.

Huckabee has made a strong showing thus far, and he'll have at least one more strong primary, however the bible belt caucuses are just about exhausted and the moderate voter still hasn't been heard outside of primary that McCain won.

McCain is beginning to surge because the moderate voice is just now firing up and because Huckabee spends most of his time retelling folks what they failed to hear right the first time. Candidates who get mired in their own words, have a hard time attracting voters outside of their own grass roots.

John McCain, despite the severe moderate that he is, offers the Republican base a breather from the shrillness of the liberal argument. He has credibility on the war, and has credibility when he tells voters that he will pull our troops out of Iraq the very moment it can responsibly be done.

Those who want us to get the job done in Iraq and then get the hell out of that country tend to like McCain - and neither Romney or Huckabee shows strong credibility on that position.

I don't think at this point Romney is a true player. His Michigan win was a stacked deck and he won't make such a strong showing again. Watch and see. Romney will sink with each new political gaff he's likely to make as the pressure goes up.

John McCain has been through this before, and has learned where and how to pick his battles, a luxury the other Republican candidates are beginning to prove themselves unable to do nearly as well.

The rest of the Republican field is really not worth talking about, and you'll see why over the coming three weeks. No media attention means no airtime... and airtime is vital to a campaign.

Why Hillary Clinton Will Be Your Democratic Nominee:

I'll be counting the minutes after I publish this post, before I get my first email from an exasperated Obama fan who absolutely thinks I'm looney for picking Clinton as your Democratic Nominee. Let me assure you, I have good reason for my choice.

Yes, Obama has done well, but there's method to the madness here that even those in the national press have yet to catch onto.

A close Clinton-Obama match up is what the Clinton camp has expected since he emerged as the contender months ago. The Clinton Machine is counting on a strong showing from Obama who is decidedly left of center. She likes this, because it creates the perception that she is a true centrist who can capture all of the blue dog Democrats, many of the independents and a few of the moderate Republicans.

The Clinton machine knows the Democratic voter. It's a leftward leaning voter who would really love to go for an Obama, but is smart enough to know a politically centered candidate will be more acceptable to independents and even the dejected Ron Paul voter who may punish the republicans for rejecting the Ron Paul message.

Clinton has a larger voter base than just the devout Democrat. For the first time perhaps in history, there is a vibrant Social Republican base that will have no place to go, should Republicans return an apparently strict conservative to run in the General Election.

Since Democrats must make their choice without knowing who the Republican Nominee will be, they will likely send a candidate to the General Election who has the best chance of picking up those stranded moderate votes. Obama simply does not have that appeal because he's committed himself to pulling US troops out of Iraq without reservations.

Many independents want to leave Iraq as soon as possible, but they want to do it in such a way that won't require our return, should Iran or another country seek to take advantage of our exit. Obama has realistically disqualified himself from moderating his view on this in an effort to capture the anti-war vote.

Yes, he looks good to Democrats, but the General Election isn't going to like the primaries. This is the trick bag that lost them the election the last time around. I'm assuming in my prediction that Democrats have learned their lesson about flirting too strongly with the extreme left, but we'll soon see if that's true.

Obama has established himself as the leftist candidate, which means he cannot return to center, while Clinton has hovered on center knowing she can always drift left when she needs to.

Although Clinton has established herself as a left-of-center politician for many years, the media will most certainly saturate it's political buzz with her centrist sounding views now. It already has and she's now overcoming the chastisement of the far left who have been rebuking her like a naughty school girl for her refusal to indulge the anti war base with promises of immediate withdrawal.

Clinton's strategy is far more appealing to moderates and independents - and Democrats who are still kicking themselves for sending the imploded John Kerry to the General Election. They will think twice before confining themselves again to a candidate who has already shown his cards to the opposition as Obama already has on a number of issues.

The Clinton campaign has not yet reached it's apex. Obama on the other hand is riding that peak now. The candidate who shows the most momentum during the primaries almost always wins the day, unless they are too far behind. Clinton does not have this problem.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 18, 2008

Nicole Josephson - Carted Off To Jail Following A Food Fight

Des Moines, IA (The Weekly Vice) -- A 23 year old Des Moines woman was arrested and carted off to jail following a temper tantrum she and her boyfriend had at their residence Wednesday night.

According to police, Nicole April Josephson was charged with domestic assault with a dangerous weapon following a food fight she had with her live-in boyfriend Michael Hickman.

Josephson reportedly took Hickman's pizza out of the oven and threw it in the sink when the two began to argue with each other. Police said Hickman then took Josephsons hard boiled eggs off of the couple's stove and threw them onto the pizza in retaliation. Hickman then proceeded to exit the kitchen, but was struck in the arm with a pair of scissors the woman threw at him in response to the man's actions.

Hickman left the apartment to cool down at a local tavern where he was treated by friends for his injuries. Later on that evening when the man returned, the argument did as well. It was then that the man called police and reported the incident.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

I think the real story here is still untold. If his girlfriend was wired up enough to throw scissors at him, who could say what originally got him mad to begin with. From the mugshot it's apparent she isn't a high maintenance girl. Saves the couple valuable make-up expense and would likely never bring the couple the added expense of powering a blow dryer or curling iron.

Humm.. We may have just answered our own question.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital - Sued For Dumping Sick Paraplegic On Skid Row

Los Angeles, Ca (The Weekly Vice) -- Civil rights groups and a law firm sued a Los Angeles hospital for dumping a homeless, paraplegic man on skid row in February, 2007.

The lawsuit alleges that the Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital dumped a mentally ill patient on skid row in a soiled hospital gown. Witnesses who came to the man's aid found him crawling along the sewer drains dragging his belongings behind him with his teeth.

The man reportedly came to the hospital to be treated for a urinary tract infection. The hospital refused the treatment and instead attempted to transport the paraplegic man to a local homeless shelter. When the shelter refused to take the man, the hospital dumped the untreated patient on skid row before a street of witnesses and even a security camera.

"[The witnesses] were so filled with outrage about the treatment of this patient that they stepped forward and they shared that not only did the man have to fling himself out of the van onto the street but that the driver was only concerned that her van seat had been soiled and she was applying makeup and perfume as she drove off and left the guy laying in the street." said Union Rescue Mission president Andy Bales.

Back in May of 2007, Hollywood Presbyterian released a statement which promised to adopt a policy similar to that of other hospitals agreeing to find shelter places for all patients. Attorneys for the victim in the case contend in their suit that the hospital has failed to follow through on that promise.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

The last time I was unfortunate enough to require hospital care, I stayed for a few hours and the hospital ran some routine tests. The bill ran into the thousands although the tests conducted were simple $75 clinical sample tests.

Private hospitals thrive on massive revenue, city subsidies and tax advantages. How often after all do you see a hospital having a "going out of business" sale? What would a used bed pad be worth anyway?

The Vice contends that hospitals who thrive on it's monopoly of the sick while receiving perks and incentives from public sources should be banned from releasing a patient into a potentially harmful environment that's incompatible with his/her ailments.

The fact that the hospital should be sued in order to compel the hospital into civilized health practices is an outrage. Our government has seen fit to regulate everything else in hospital operations, yet the user of those operations is beholden to the hospitals option of securing their welfare?

Perhaps a private hospital can't be forced to provide treatment, but it should certainly be required to insure that it doesn't release patients into an environment that is likely to make the condition(s) worse.

If it's true that the hospital made a commitment to change their practice and still has not, then I would expect (and hope) that the hospital will be sued senseless to established a precedent in this case that equals the apathy it has shown towards it's customers (patients). We'll be watching this case to see what the legal outcome is.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

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January 17, 2008

Farmington Junior High Students Trade Nude Pictures Via Cell Phone

Farmington, UT (The Weekly Vice) -- Police are investigating Farmington Junior High School students who were recently caught trading nude pictures of themselves with other students via their cell phones. The discovery included images of 13 and 14 year old students exposing their genitals to each other along with other nude shots.

Police were contacted when a concerned parent reportedly found sexually explicit photos on her child's cell phone according to Lt. Shane Whitacker of the Farmington Police Dept. This is the third time students have been caught exchanging the images.

School officials, who are also investigating the incident, speculate there may be 8 or 9 students who participated in the exchange, but have brought disciplinary action against just 3 of the students thus far. The district has refused to disclose what actions were taken.

Christopher Williams, a spokesman for the district claims the Junior High took action because "their behavior intruded on other student's learning process." he added "The district allows cell phones, but confiscates them when they are used inappropriately."

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

The Vice believes that part of the problem here starts with a school who really teeters on the edge of getting themselves sued. Obviously this is an ongoing problem at the school, and the reason for that may be found in the district spokesman's comments.

The district's chief concern is that the photos might be disruptive to the learning process. What? Distribution of pornography, child pornography at that, didn't register as the major concern? What about the illegality of a minor possessing and distributing the nude imagery? Does this mean students are free to distribute nude photos to one another during their lunch hour? Of course not, right? How would you know this from the knocky-kneed response from the school?

Our problem is not so much with the students in the case. Whether it's spin the bottle, truth or dare or cell phone photos, teenagers will always figure out ways to satisfy their curiosity. But the rubber ruler attempts of the district to take the issue seriously sends a strong message about what it finds moderately acceptable off the record, so long as a teacher isn't interrupted in class.

The Weekly Vice located the district's Internet safety information statement which included almost nothing about what the district does NOT allow within it's walls. The statement basically explains why the Internet is so prevalent among students. It then goes on to teach the reader the proper shorthand that students often use to text message each other through instant messaging and phone texting. This should help crack down on student text messaging during a class, eh?

Thumbs down to the defeatist, student whipped district who has seemed to have glossed over the age factor here.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

What is your opinion on this story?

Katie Couric - Uninformed and Ditzy Behind The Scenes

January 16, 2008

Carmen Kontur-Gronquist - Arlington Mayor Is The Town Siren

Arlington, Oregon (The Weekly Vice) - The sleepy- small town of Arlington Oregon has a 5 alarm fire blazing. It isn't a house or business that's on fire, but rather the Mayor's office. To be more accurate, it's the mayor herself.

Arlington, a town with a population that barely caps 500 residents gained national attention when racy photos of the town's mayor, Carmen Kontur-Gronquist, were found on her MySpace personal page.

The images included a picture of Mayor Kontur-Gronquist pictured in nothing more than a black bra and panties in front of a town firetruck. They were found on her MySpace page and captured by the local press (KATU - Portland) who aired the story.

While Mayor Kontur-Gronquist's MySpace page has since been set to 'private', the Mayor refuses to apologize for the images and insists she did nothing wrong. It's been established that the photos were taken and posted before Mayor Kontor-Gronquist was elected to her position.

"That's my personal life," she said. "It has nothing to do with my mayor's position. I'm not going to change who I am," she added. "There's a lot of officials that have a personal life, and you have people in this community who have nothing better to do than scrape up stuff like this."

The town's people are more concerned with the town's image than they are the policy issues behind the pose. Mayor Kontur-Gronquist doubles as the fire department's executive secretary, which provided her access to obtain the photos.

Town Councilman Jeff Bufton said he's heard a lot of negative comments about the pictures but declined to say whether the council plans to address the topic.

Some of the town's residence are speaking out to local media expressing their disapproval with the Mayor's choice to post the photos.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

If it were Hillary Clinton in a bra and panties, we'd be outraged. But she certainly does nothing but benefit the town's image. After all, who would have thought a rusty old one buggy town like Arlington could have residents with abs like that? Take your pick...When you think of Arlington, would you rather think of farmer jack or Mayor Carmen? Case closed.

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

What is your opinion on this story?

ACLU Says Sex In Bathroom Stall Is Private

St. Paul, Minn (The Weekly Vice) - Politics sometimes create strange bedfellows and the combined forces of imploded Republican Senator Larry Craig and the ACLU is an excellent example of that.

Sen. Craig was arrested back in June, 2007 for allegedly soliciting gay sex from an undercover officer in an airport bathroom stall. Craig denies the charge, insisting his actions were misconstrued.

Now the ACLU has entered the case and insists that sex in a bathroom stall is private. The ACLU is arguing that even if Craig did invite the officer for sex, it would be considered a private act within the closed confines of a bathroom stall.

"The government cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Senator Craig was inviting the undercover officer to engage in anything other than sexual intimacy that would not have called attention to itself in a closed stall in the public restroom," the ACLU wrote in its brief. photo credit Susan Walsh (AP)

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

So, is the ACLU right? Is a bathroom stall legally a private place? If the Judge rules that it isn't, does that give folks the right to bust in and have a smoke while you do whatever it is that you do in a stall?

If the Judge says it is a private place, are you allowed to invite a friend to come appreciate the private place you've found?

Forgetting for a moment the alarming mental image that tags along with this entire topic, what is the correct answer from a legal standpoint, using the laws on the books? What should the law say?

The Weekly Vice predicts the answer will be that a public stall cannot be considered private. Privacy, private and private property all play out differently in the law. While you are provided a sense of privacy with bathroom stall partitions, you are still in a public place.

We won't get into the legal dynamics of all of that - but rest assurred, the ACLU is barnstorming this issue with the wrong chapter of law. Privacy rights and public lewdness come from completely different chapters of law, and we think the Judge will opt for precident on the matter instead of trying to marry the two issues together.

Danny Vice

What is your opinion on this issue?

January 14, 2008

Idaho Man Saws Off Evil Hand And Then Cooks It

Hayden, Idaho - (The Weekly Vice) - A Hayden, Idaho man in his mid 20's sawed off his own hand and cooked it in a microwave oven.

The self mutilating victim used a circular saw to cut off his hand because he believed it bore the 'mark of the beast', according to police. The man then placed the severed hand in the microwave and began cooking it.

According to sheriff's Captain Ben Wolfinger, the man was calm and had already placed a tourniquet on his arm when authorities responded to his 9-11 call. The hand, which was found in the microwave had been partially cooked. The man was then transported to the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center.

Hospital Spokesperson Lisa Johnson would not comment on further details of the man's admittance into the hospital, citing patient privacy/confidentiality rights. It is also not yet known which hand was severed or if the man had a history of mental illness.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

While The Weekly Vice regards news like this as unfortunate and wonders what kind of treatment this man may have had prior to this incident, we are more outraged at those in the media who have immediately dedicated half their stories to dispensing biblical explanations behind the man's actions instead of focusing on the mental health or medical issues that may have lead this man to take to his saw.

The mental instability of the man is obvious - and at that point, it really doesn't matter what delusions in his mind may have led him to feel the need for bleed. There is however a name for those who feel the need to amputate perfectly healthy limbs. It's called apotemnophilia.

Apotemnophilia is not nearly as rare as one may think and instances of it are reportedly on the rise according to experts. Doctors are increasingly faced with the decision of assisting these amputee wanna bees with their limb amputations, when the patient threatens to cut the limb back off if a surgeon attempts to reattach it.

Medical experts cite choosing the "less of two evils" as the reasons behind complying with the patients wishes. Experts contend that if an amputation is immanent, it is best that the procedure be conducted by experts in a sterile environment.

The patient is thoroughly screened by both medical and psychological experts before commencing with the procedure. Many states also allow the hospital to release the amputated limb(s) back to the patient after it has been sterilized.

Danny Vice
Weekly Vice

January 13, 2008

Santana Batiz Aceves - Illegal Alien Is Arizona Serial Rapist

Chandler, AZ - (The Weekly Vice) - Santana Batiz-Aceves, a 39 year old, twice-deported illegal immigrant with a criminal record of drug related offenses was arrested at him Chandler home on suspicion that he is the Chandler Rapist police have been looking for.

For 18 months authorities have sought to uncover the identity of the rapist believed to have sexually assaulted five girls in the area. They found what they believed to be their man as he prepared to flee the state.

Batiz-Aceves, a heavy equipment operator by trade, was in the process of loading up his vehicle when police arrived at his home to administer a court ordered DNA test.

Police say the case took an optimistic turn when when a Chandler task force spotted Batiz-Aceves' car. It was a match to the car described by an eyewitness who described seeing a white Toyota Tercel at one of the rape scenes.

Policed pulled the car over and spotted a jacket that witnesses had described as belonging to the rapist. Police kept a close eye on Bazis-Aceves after he refused to submit to a DNA test. Finally, they obtained a court order for the DNA test and arrived at Batiz-Aceves' home to expedite the court order to obtain his DNA.

Batiz-Aceves was originally suspected of 'Identity Theft' and for providing false information from the earlier stop that police made. The man is being held without bond.

The DNA test linked Batiz-Aceves to three of the rapes police attributed to the Chandler Rapist.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

So, how does one who is an illegal alien, a drug offender, and a twice-deported man end up living comfortably with a family in Arizona?

Formerly, Arizona was well known as a border state with a heart for Illegal aliens. Recently, Arizona has become notably more aggressive on the issues of illegal immigration. There have been reports in Arizona that many illegals had returned to Mexico to celebrate Christmas and have decided not to return.

We applaud the work of authorities here that were able to catch on quickly to the real identity of this man (he originally used a fake name with them).

They walked a tightrope between respecting the man's civil rights as a potential citizen, yet were able get a rapists DNA before he fled back over the border. I would imagine this all occurred within a matter of hours. Great work to Chandler Police Dept.

Not such a great job for the State Of Arizona who played host to a man for almost 2 years while he raped one US Citizen after another. The man would have had worked some place or sought medical treatment at some time for his family among many other things.

Arizona tax payers footed the bill for a man to live openly among them - while he raped them at will. It's an amazing stretch of the imagination, no matter where you fall politically. photo credit: Darryl Webb, Tribune

Danny Vice
The Weekly Vice

January 12, 2008

Global Warming Blamed For Freezing Temperatures And Snow In Baghdad

photo credit -AP- Adil Al-Khazali

Baghdad, Iraq - (The Weekly Vice) - Snow fell in Baghdad for the first time in about 100 years according to Iraqi weather experts.

"Snow has fallen in Baghdad for the first time in a century as a result of two air flows meeting." according to a statement published by the Baghdad meteorology department. "The First one was cold and dry, and the second one was warm and humid. They met above Iraq."

The brief snow, which disappeared just as soon as it touched ground, fell from early morning hours until about 9:00 am. Morning temperatures held to around freezing until about the same time. The Baghdad Airport was closed due to visibility concerns.

The scene provided jubilation among Iraqis, many of which had never seen snowfall besides in movies. Some Iraqis considered it a sign of hope while others took to the streets to experience a first snowfall witnessed in their lifetime.

While local residents usually awoke to sounds of occasional shelling, the morning snowfall brought a brief reprieve of them, as Iraqis celebrated the rare event.

The Weekly Vice Reaction:

It seems as though global warming has been blamed for just about every conceivable blip in our weather patterns. Every tornado, hurricane, forest fire and earthquake seems to have been converted into advertisements for global warming enthusiasts who want to make sure you feel guilty for using that 2nd square of toilet paper.

During a particularly eventful year of hurricanes, we are bombarded with threats that our shores will be increasingly terrorized by storms as the world spins out of of control. It always strikes me as humorous when the next two years are virtually free of hurricane activity, despite the repeated threats of impending doom.

Environmentalists often push the issue hardest during the summer months, hoping to press their case when it's hot outside - so their message is more likely to stick (pun intended). Winter has usually been a nice reprieve from the war drums of impending doom, as the message looses steam (pun intended again) when folks are chiseling ice off of their windshields.

Would environmentalists be brash enough - or desperate enough - to suggest that freezing temperatures and snowfall at one of the hottest places on earth is proof of global warming? Well they are now.

Now you can truly take comfort in knowing that every weather pattern or instance of nature (including freezing temperatures) is now considered iron clad proof that our world is about to explode into a fireball.

The Weekly Vice is of the opinion that caring for our environment is a responsibility that everyone can share a part in. But taking the issue to such an extreme level that even a historic snowfall in the desert can no longer be enjoyed, will only hurt the effort.

Blustering hysteria every time anything happens (even a snowfall) will do nothing for the cause but wear people out on the issue and diminish it's credibility to folks who might otherwise be receptive to the message.

The Weekly Vice has stated before and continues to suggest that politicising global warming has bled the goodwill out of the effort and replaced it with political rancor. In times like these, it would be nice if the talking heads could put a sock in it and let the rest of us just enjoy the miracle of snow in the desert. It may be another 100 years before global warming allows us to enjoy it again.

Here is the news service who couldn't leave well enough alone!

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